Should Parents Choose Their Child's Sport?

I never thought I'd be jealous of a soccer mom until I walked out of the ice rink in the super-sized sports zone to warm my frozen extremities. I glanced over at the indoor turf field and saw the soccer players in shorts and t-shirts and their parents not wrapped in coats, beanies, or gloves, or shivering.

Now That I Have Your Attention

So, now that I have your attention, please know, I have never really been jealous of soccer moms! I have many friends whose kids play soccer and have sat outside at 7 a.m. on Saturdays and Sundays and weathered temperatures ranging from 90 degrees to 20 degrees! And that can be said for all parents whose children are in outdoor sports.

Why Hockey?

However, on that first day of ice hockey for my son, I discovered that I was not properly attired and prepared for the cold rink temperature, and this is when I began asking myself, "why has he chosen hockey?"

I am more than excited to watch my son truly in love with what he is doing. He lives on his roller blades playing roller hockey in our driveway and our pole barn. He watches hours of hockey and how-to videos on slap shots, plays, and teams. He has hockey sticks taped up and hockey vocabulary down to a memorized science. He talks to us about it every-single-day. 

While knowing how much he loves hockey brings me joy, there are other factors that weigh on my mind. Things such as the cost, the distance, the schedule, the possible injuries, and so on.

Why NOT Baseball?

His love of hockey has existed for years, but sadly, it never worked out for our schedule, so he has played baseball since t-ball and done both fall and spring ball. In fact baseball has been his second love, or at least the love he could focus on if he couldn't play hockey.

Baseball is easy - easier for mom and dad (this statement does not pertain to all moms and dads, especially those of travel players, but is relevant to my personal story). Baseball is much closer. It is more affordable. It runs fall and winter. It requires less equipment (for the most part), and it is a sport that can be played and practiced in our backyard.

When Should Parents Make the Decision for Kids?

I have asked myself this question in a somewhat serious manner, even though it makes me feel sort of awful at the same time. Is it ever my place as the parent to determine in which sport or activity my child partakes?

Does money play a factor?

Does age play a factor? Is there an age where children are too young to truly know they want to do until they've tried it? Do we as parents know better based on our own experiences?

Does having multiple children play a factor?

Supportive Sports Parents

I have watched my kids try soccer bugs, t-ball, baseball, softball, volleyball, horse-back riding, basketball, floor hockey, and roller hockey. If they wanted to try it, and it was financially feasible, we were all for giving them the opportunity.

We always rearranged schedules to have at least one parent or grandparent attend an event. We have bought equipment necessary for each sport and comfy chairs for spectating. We have taught them to stick out a season once a commitment is made to a team. We have taught them that they don't have to do things again, if they do not enjoy them.

Unsupportive Sports Parents

On the other hand, I have had friends who have told their children they couldn't do certain sports or activities due to their own dislike of it. A friend gave me her blessing to share that she did not allow her daughter do cheerleading because mom did not like it. Mom simply suggested something else to try.

I think we can all relate to this on some level. Sports parents may not like or understand their child's inclination for music, theatre, or art. A musician may not understand a particular sport and therefore, feel they may not be able to help their child be successful. This doesn't meant they do not support their child - they may feel they lack the ability to support the activity.

Our decisions as parents are significant, so how do we know if we're making the right ones when in comes to our child's sports and activities?

What About Regrets?

The other factor that weighs on my mind is the question of whether they will regret not playing something. What if he regrets not playing baseball because down the road he wants to do it again, but has discovered he is too far behind his peers?

My daughter is facing the same thing with whether or not to play softball, and I've asked her if she'll regret it. She says she will miss it, but that she'd rather not have the pressure and would rather be doing other things.

This should be enough of an answer from a 14-year-old, right? It's mature, well thought out, and appears that she is taking into account her mental and psychological health and stability. So, why do I still feel the urge to guide her to play anyway?

More Questions Than Answers

Clearly, I have more questions than answers.

Do we as parents force them to do something because we fear they will have regrets?

Did our parents do that? Were we glad to be pushed? Or did we simply miss out on something else that we might have wanted to do.

Am I wired to push my kids do things that I did as a child? Or do the things I did as a child because those were the only things available to me at the time?

I don't have these answers - but figured it might be something with which other parents have struggled.

Why Can't They Just Garden?

Then there is the age old question of - why can't our kids just love what we love? Well, oftentimes, they do love what we do, and they love doing things with us no matter what those things are. They love spending time with us, no matter what it is.

But at some point, they need to express their own loves and interests, and we need to support those.

So even if I didn't enjoy an activity or was not very good at it, I'd still participate in and listen to it in whatever way I could.

What are you thoughts?

Disclaimer: I am 100% onboard with ice hockey for as long as we can support his dream...